The little suprise

Well, it's a girl!

I was so certain it was a boy but it's not. The ultrasound tech had me in just about every position I could get into to try to get a good look but as she put it "there are no boy parts showing and definitly some girl parts".

I have to admit there was a tiny part of me rooting for the baby to be a girl. I want someone I can play Barbies with and dress is Disney Princess dresses. Dad says he has to go out and go shopping now because he has always seen such cool girl Disney stuff but he never had anyone to buy it for before.

So yeah, I'm happy. Suprised but happy.

ADDED LATER:
Ok, so the other details. The baby weighs 13 ounces and seems to have all her parts and everything seems to be in working order. She was really moving all over the place during the ultrasound and at one point we saw her hiccup. No matter how she moved though she always seemed to be keeping her legs closed. The ultrasound tech said they were looking for either a "hambuger" or a "turtle" to determine if it was a boy or a girl. After spending lots and lots of time she said she wasn't seeing any sign of a turtle but was seeing a definate hamburger. It was nice to hear it explained in such technical medical terms.

We got some really fun pictures of her. Tow profiles, one of her arm and fist next to her face and one really cool one of her face straight on. It's kind of funny looking because you can only see the skull bones but it's still kind of cute. My baby girl has the cutest little skull you've ever seen.

In a funk

I haven't had too much to say lately because I've been feeling a bit blue. No real reason that I can figure out, I'm just in a funk. Oh well. Im going to get my ultra-sound in a couple of hours and that will probably cheer me up.

We went to the zoo on Sunday and that was a lot of fun. I'll post more about it later if I ever get out of this blasted bad mood.

Me and my buddy

My plan regarding my weight with my pregnancy has been to try to eat healthy but also to give in to cravings and eat what I want (within reason of course). So far it's worked out pretty well because most of my cravings have not been for things that are too terribly unhealthy or junky aside from that one time I wanted pork rinds.

Jesse "helps" by reminding me that I am eating for two now so it's ok for me to eat a little more. I have to remind myself that one of us has the caloric needs of a golf ball, not a linebacker so they probably won't be too much help in burning off that entire pan of brownies I'm considering eating.

May I offer you some casserole?

My parents watched Joseph last night while Jesse and I went to the Lion King show. They had pork chops for dinner. Joseph told them "My family doesn't eat pork chops. We eat casserole because it promotes a healthy colon."

I could not make this stuff up if I tried.

The Lion King

Jesse and I went to see the Lion King Broadway show last night. It was amazing! The costumes, the dancing, the sets, the music, it was all awesome. There was one number right after the intermission where there were cast members out in the audience waving around these birds (fake obivously) over the audiances heads. There was one cast memeber right behind us and the bird she had kept going right over our head. It was so cool, I could have reached up and touched it. That was one of my favorite numbers.

We had GREAT seats. They were right in the middle about 4 rows up in the balcony. We could see everything perfectly but were far back enough to be able to take it all in at one. Jesse and I both agreed that we probably had some of the best seats in the house.

Someone Jesse worked with saw the show a litlt while ago and he liked the show too but he thought "the music was weak". I have to assume that he was either listening to the show through sound-altering headphones or was at another show all together. I thought the music was great and I had goosbumps a lot of the time watching the show.

We bought a show soundtrack for us all to listen to and a Lion King trading pin for Joseph. He looked at it and said "Can I have a Beanie Baby instead?". What a doll.

One more update

I am 19 weeks pregnant today. I feel little flutterings in my tummy almost every day now, most often in the evening. I'm looking forward to feeling some big kicks and turns.

At 19 weeks the baby is starting to produce vernix caseosa, the creamy stuff the covers the baby's skin to protect it from the amniotic fluid. The baby is now about 7 inches long and weighs between 6.5 and 8 ounces. It's around this time that the baby starts to get hiccups, grow hair and fully extend it's arms and legs. Babies are awesome.

The Twins game

So the 3 of us went to a Twins game yesterday. It was a good game but it ran a little long. The Twins came from behind to pull out a very exciting win in the 11th inning. Joseph even got into it at the end, clapping and cheering when everyone else did.

Joseph got a book and a bat when we came in the gate, they were giving them away to kids 14 and under. He got his face painted before the game started. I was a little shocked that he would want it done and that he would sit still long enough to have it done. After the game all the kids that wanted to could come onto the field and run the bases. That was pretty cool.

We had to wait around a while because there were sooooo many people but it was worth the wait. He started at first base and took off running for all he was worth. His little arms and legs were just flying every which way. The guy behind us even had to chuckle at how cute he looked. After Joseph rounded second base he fell down right in the dirt. He got back up, looked around, shook himself off and kept right on going. We got a couple of pictures of him running to home base and they're pretty cute. We cheered for him and had to catch him because he was all set to take off again. He was a little worried about falling because he had some dirt on his shorts and shirt but I told him he looked just like a baseball player who slid into the base. He seemed to think that was pretty cool. He was even more pleased this morning to discover a little scuff on his brace because "baseball players get dirt on their 'blaces' too". As we were leaving the field we took a picture of Joseph in front of the Twins dugout, the floor of which may have been the most disgusting thing I have ever seen.

All in all it was a fun day and we all had a good time.

What the?

Another actual conversation between me and Joseph, this time upon me walking into his room and discovering his underwear hanging off his ceiling fan.

Me: Joseph, why is your underwear hanging off your fan?
Joseph: Well, I was excited to watch tv so I started jumping around and I jumped so high my underwear got snagged on the ceiling fan and when I came back down it just flew off. So now it's stuck there.

That's the whole thing. What else could I really say?

I had a dream last night that the baby was born 3 weeks early and it was just tiny, tiny, tiny. It was also a girl. That's the second time I've dreamed that. Before I was so sure that it was a boy that whenever I dreamed about it I dreamt it was a boy. Now I wonder if I'm wrong. Joseph has also started refering to the baby as "she" when he always used to say "he". I'm very curious to see what the ultra-sound I'm having on the 31st will say.

Talking with Mr Joe

Joseph: I want a pet parakeet.
Me: We can't get a bird honey, they make such a mess.
J: Why?
M: Because they scatter food and feathers all over the place. Plus, you have to let them out of their cage once in a while so they can fly around and then they poop all over the house.
J: Like, on my stuff they would poop?
M: Right.
J: So what pet doesn't poop on my stuff?
M: Well, dogs can be trained not to poop in the house.
J: Remember when Belle pooped in the house?
M: Yeah, she was such a stinker-dog.
J: What did she poop on?
M: She pooped on one of your Disney books one time and one time she pooped on some of your Baby Einstien cards.
J: (long pause) I don't want those cards anymore, they're for babies.
M: Honey, I threw away the ones she pooped on. But if you don't want them anymore we can give them to the new baby when it comes.
J: Yeah, babies love stuff that has been pooped on.

Too many beans in my bean soup

I made a big pot of Spicy Black Bean Soup With Sausage and cornbread for dinner tonight. It's kind of think like chili but doesn't have a chili-like taste. I thought it was really yummy. Jesse said it had too many beans in it. Joseph wouldn't even touch it. He did however eat 2 HUGE pieces of cornbread. There was actual corn in it and he still ate it. After he took the first bite he said "This bread is kind of corny!" but he liked it.

This evening I was reading this bew book I got about raising children with AS and Joseph asked me what it was about. I told him it was about kids like him who were very special. He asked what made him special and I told him it was because he was very smart and he has a good imagination and he liked lots of things to be a certain way and a whole bunch of other things. Then he told me I was special too because I was his mommy and I was his buddy and I liked to play with him and I loved him. Darn him and his ability to make me cry like that.

My baby is high

A while back I got all four wisdom teeth and an impacted molar removed. The spot where they took the molar and wisdom tooth from the bottom right side never really healed right. Once or twice it has gotten red and inflamed but it's never been a big deal. I just rinse my mouth out with salt water a couple times a day and it goes away. It's going to take surgery to fix it but I can't have that done while I'm pregnant. Anyway, it's never really been a problem.

Day before yesterday I noticed the spot was a little sore so I started with the whole rinsing routine. It didn't seem to be helping and still hurt yesterday. As the day went on the pain got worse and worse until I actually in tears. My entire jaw, the right side of my throat, my ear and even my tounge hurt. A visit to the doctor confirmed that I have got a raging infection. The wierd thing is that if you look in my mouth you can't even see that anything is wrong. My mouth doesn't look red or puffy because the infection is so deep under the surface.

Anyway, now I'm on large doses of antibiotics and some pretty heavy duty painkillers. Here's the funny thing about painkillers. You can't take most of them while you're pregnant, not even things like asprin. Narcotics (like morphine and stuff) are ok because they won't harm the baby. They do, I have found out, affect the baby though. So right now I'm getting my baby high. I've asked about 100 people if they're sure this is safe and they all say it is. I even called my regualr doctor this morning to be reassured. Now that I've been told over and over and over that it's ok I'm just going to relax and let the little guy enjoy it.

I like to picture him floating around in there listening to 70's music and burning incense. Then I like to tap on my belly and imagine that he says "Dave's not here man!". It's our little joke.

Tape, rope and a speaker

About 5 minutes before Joseph's bus came today he started crying and saying he couldn't go to school because he hadn't done his science project. Nothing I said could convince him that he didn't have to do a project for school. He got all frantic and said "Quick! Bring me a rope and some tape and a speaker! Grandma has some tape because she is a office person and we can get some rope from Grandpa because he used it when he used to be a cowboy and he has a speaker from when he was a jail guy and he used to talk to all his other policeman. And don't look at my Scooby Doo and the Zombie book because that has all the instructions for my secret project. You can just tie the rope to the speaker but that's all. Ok, get that stuff!"

I honestly don't even know what to say to him sometimes.

Just like Pinnochio

This morning I put Joseph in a plain white t-shirt and put a blue and yellow football jersey over it. He looked so cute! He started to cry though and told me that everyone would laugh at hom for wearing two shirts because he looked "just like Pinnochio when he was a real boy and played baseball".

Huh. Hard to come up with an argument to that.

(Just to be clear I want to point out that none of those unkind things I said about that other family were ever said to Joseph or even in front of him. I'm just venting here. In spite of how it may sound I actually feel very bad for the little boy since the people who are raising him are total idiots and he would probably be better off being raised by howler monkeys. But I do feel sorry for him. Dang, now I'm feeling guilty over some stuff I typed and never even said out loud to anyone. I'm gonna go cry.)

Final night class

Despite feeling (and looking) like I had been run through a food processor last night I took Joseph to his final Monday Night Class. He was lloking forward to it because we were going to have a pizza party and it was his job to bring juice.

When we got to the class I pulled aside the main "teacher" and told her how uncomfortable I was with the woman and her sister who said such rude things about Joseph last week. She was just shocked when I told her what they had said. She actually wanted to pull them aside right then and talk to them. I said I didn't think that was needed since that was the last class but I did want to be sure that the sister (who always stays in the room with the kids) didn't pull her usual stunt of trying to act like a teacher and tell Joseph (and other kids) what to do. The teacher (who I'll call "K") agreed that was not appropriate and said she would talk to the other teachers so that they could watch out for it too.

After we had eaten out pizza Joseph got up throw away his plate and the trash can was over by the door. Miss Mac Truck sees him going by the door, barrles over there and says "Joseph, you need to stay in the room!" As I'm heading over there Joseph keeps trying to get to the trash can and she puts her hands on his shoulders and moves him over about 3 feet! Oh man, it's a good thing K got over there first because I was about to tear into the woman. It's not like she pushed him but for cripes sake lady, keep you damn, flabby hands with your gross dirty nails off my kid. K got to her first and said pretty much "Don't ever do that again, you've been told not to do that, it's not your job, there was a teacher standing right by the door watching him, he was ok, you're not supposed to be doing that and it makes the parents and staff here very uncomfotable when you do and so on and so on".

Shortly after that I saw K go into the hallway with the woman and her sister and after they came back in they kept shooting me evil looks. Then they stared at me for the rest of the night. It took every ounce of maturity I could muster not to stick my tounge out and say "ha ha!". K told me after class that the mother was very confused as to why her sister "Fatty Fatty Mc StretchPants" got such a stern talking to and if she couldn't stay in the room witht he kids then they woulnd't be coming back next year. K told them that it wold not work for her to stay in the room and if that was how she felt that was too bad but that it simply was not working out.

Ha! So next year when we go to Monday night class the amount of annoying people will have been cut down by about 15%. Of course, if I know my laws of nature they will have been replaced by someone even worse but I'm just gonna go with this good feeling for now.

Oh, before I forget. I got a neti pot last night to try to clear out my sinues and I almost drown myself using it. I am awesome. I'm going to try it again today to see if I can't finish off the job.

Boo hoo

I am such a sad sack. I hate being sick like this. I turn into a pathetic, blubbering mess. My nose is all swollen and red, it looks like a little cherry tomato right in the middle of my face.

So I'm what? 18 weeks pregnant now? Is that right? I think so. I think I've felt the baby move a few times now but it was so faint that I can't be 100% sure that's what it was. I've developed a linea nigra (a dark brown line going down my belly) in the past couple of days. I know it doesn't serve any purpose, I just think it's interesting to see all the wierd things my body is doing.

FYI- In my pregnancy and birth book it says "Many prolems at this stage are due to the progesterone-induced relaxation of the digestive system, which can cause heartbur, indigestion, gas and constipation." See, pregnancy does make you fart.

Ugh

My body is so heavy that it feels like my bones are made of lead. Every muscle hurts and my throat is so sore it hurts to swallow. It takes a huge effort to get out of bed and downstairs. I'm sick to my stomach and can't eat. My list of approved medication includes slowly sipped hot chocolate and Wild Berry Lifesavers. I'm going to lug myself to the couch now and sleep for a month.

Food porn

I can't stop watching the Food Network these days. I turn it on whenever I have a free moment and no matter what they're cooking I just can't make myself turn it off. Did you know that some people call mashed potatoes "smashed potatoes?"

I don't feel so good today. My head is pounding, my throat is sore and swollen, my entire body aches and I don't have what I need in the house to make this new recipe for smashed potatoes that I learned from watching tv.

Back me up here

Can someone else please back me up and say that hormones during pregnancy can cause you indigestion including gas? That it's a real thing and not just (as my mom said) "an excuse to fart"? Come on, it's a real thing!

Pregnancy stuff

I had a doctors appointment yesterday. Everything is going well. I have gained 2 pounds so my offical pregnancy weight change is still minus 12 pounds. I think it's actually more than that because I lost closer to 20 pounds but some of that was before my first offical weigh in with my doctor. Anyway, only 2 pounds is pretty good considering the way I've been packing it on lately. I have to keep reminding myself that I don't need to eat enough to make up for the first 3 1/2 months.

Everything else looks good. My blood pressure and urine were normal. The baby's heartbeat sounded good and (for the first time) very loud. She didn't even have to look for it, just put the device on my belly and heard it right away. I don't know if it's because the baby is bigger now or what but this is the first time she didn't have to search all over to find the heartbeat.

So what is a baby doing at 17 weeks? Glad you asked! Right now the muscles have formed that let the baby practice sucking and swallowing. It's swallowing amniotic fluid all the time and then peeing it back out. And swallowing it again. Babies are kind of gross if you think about it too much. Also, fingerprints are starting to form. It's a busy week. The baby can now be as long as 6.5 inches and weigh 5 ounces. They can also cause their mother's to have tremendous amounts of gas. Er, so I hear anyway. Not that I have a problem with it. I've never almost blasted myself off the couch with a mondo gas explosion.

It tastes like burning!

Last night at Joseph's parent/child class a police officer came and talked to the kids about safety. I asked Joseph what the officer told them and our conversation went like this:

Joseph: Officer Nick told us not to go in other people's yards or houses if we don't know them.
Me: Why not?
J: Because they might be strangers.
M: Right, and who's house could you go into?
J: Grandma's and Beanie's and your's and The Wheeze's and Officer Nick's.
M: And other people too if Mommy and Daddy tell you it's ok. What else did he tell you?
J: Not to get in stranger's cars.
M: That's a good idea.
J: Why?
M: Because there are some people who aren't very nice to kids. Only go in someone's car if Mommy or Daddy or Grandma or Grandpa say it's ok.
J: Or in Officer Nick's car. And I always have to wear a seat belt.
M: That's right, what else did you talk about?
J: Not to take candy from stangers.
M: Why not?
J: Because it could have poison or, you know, maybe be on fire.

This conversation was much more amusing than the one I had just before it with one of the idiot parents in the class. She thought it was ok to talk about Joseph while he was standing 2 feet away and say such insightful things as "He sure is hyper ain't he?" and "He talks so much that no one else could get a word in with the police officer." (She knew this because for some reason her idiot sister who is roughly the size of a Mac truck comes to the class and stays in the room with the kids during the time when the parents go into another room to talk.) and "He's adopted right? So he ain't your real kid?" She got pretty rude responses from me but not as rude as I would have liked to have been. So here's what I would have said if I could have said whatever I wanted to: "Yes, he's my real kid and no he's not hyper. He just has a lot of energy. You know what energy is right? It's that thing you use when you waddle your fat ass out to the car to go down to the Dairy Queen for the fourth time in one day. Lots of kids are energetic. You should know that but I'm not suprised you don't since your entire family looks like the most exercise it gets is when it bends over to pick up that Cheeto that you dropped last week and just realized was still under the couch. And yes, Joseph talks a lot but I'm glad that he has a lot to say. It shows me he has a lot on his mind and a lot he wants to share with other people. I would rather have a kid who talks too much than to be raising that grunting little pig that you call a child. Oh, and before I go, do you think you could manage, for once, to wear a shirt to class that is not stained in several places. And sis, how about retiring those black stretch pants? They're starting to become a safety issue. If they get stretched any tighter the button is going to fly off and put someone's eye out."

So yeah, it's a good thing to have a little internal switch that doesn't let me let loose like that. I have to admit though that there is a part of me that knows it would have felt damn good to have said that stuff. Of course I would have felt bad later. I'm too nice.

For anyone who thinks I'm being harsh, I should point out that these people have been a thorn in my side since we moved to St Cloud. They used to live in the same apartment building as us and we would see them all the time in the hall, in the lobby, in the garage and in the parking lot. They would literally stop what they were doing and turn to stare at us. Not discreetly either! They would make it pretty clear and they did it every fricken time they saw us. Even after we moved it didn't stop. We would see them everywhere! In the store, in the car next to us on the road, if we would go out to eat and twice (twice for God's sake!) in the emergency room. And each and every time they stared at us like we were naked and had horns growing out of our head. I honestly groaned out loud the first time I saw them come into the parent/child class. We will never be free of them.

Fun Mom memories

I meant to post this yesterday in honor of Mother's Day but I got distracted by other things. Here are a couple of fun memories I have of my mom.

1- One time Mom was making chocolate chip cookies and she made a special one for me. At that time I got home from school before Ben so I was the only one to get one. It was probably twice the size of a regualr cookie by in my distorted childhood memory the thing is as big as a pizza. She told me not to tell Ben I got the big cookie and when he got home his "special cookie" was a tiny one about half the size of a regular cookie. It was awesome. I'm sure I was able to not tell Ben for about 3 seconds.

2- Once Mom told Ben and I to dress up in some "fancy" clothes from our dress-up box. She then put a bad sheet on the table to make it into a "restaurant". Then she put out lettuce and salad stuff like a salad bar so we could fix our own salad. The best part was that she made up "menus" with all the leftovers in the house written on them so that we could order whatever we wanted. This is one of my most vivid memories from childhood. I even remember the color of the sheets that were used on the table and salad bar.

3- When we were living in the trailer park Mom came home from work one night and woke Ben and I up. She had a suprise for us, plastic Pac-Man mugs! The pictures on them changed when you moved them around. As young as I must have been at the time I remember that night so clearly. We were so excited, I can picture Ben bouncing around on his bed. I think we thought those mugs were the best things ever and it was made extra-fun because we were woken up to get them.

4- On our family trip to Disney World we went to eat after a long day of theme-parking. We were all kind of slap-happy and everything seemed extra funny for some reason. We were reading triva questions that were on the table and one of them was to name all 7 of the dwarfs. My mom's strategy was to just quickly try to copy whatever anyone else said regardless of if it made sense or not. This is hard to explain but to this day I get a chuckle when I picture her trying to look serious and counting off on her fingers "Sleepy, Dopey, ok, Sneezy, Sleepy, Doc, Right" and including "Ok" and "Right" in her count.

5- During a visit to some theme park in California (I think) we rode on some cheesy ride where you went "back in time!". The ride started with this scientist yelling at you to get away from the time machine and that you were going "back in time!". We got stuck there for about 2 minutes and when the ride started up again Mom gave the animatronic scientist the finger. We all laughed for the rest of the ride.

6- This is not one specific event but it has to do with the face my mom makes when she tries to do something like cross her eyes or roll her tounge or wiggle her ears. No matter what she's trying to do she makes the exact same face! Then she says "I"m doing it! Am I doing it?" but really all she's doing is half closing her eyes and pursing up her lips. It always kills me. I love my mom.

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day to my mom! Thank you for everything you've done for me. Thank you most of all for showing me by example how to be a good mother so that I could do the same with Joseph. I love you!

*insert clever title here

Yesterday I gave Joseph a bunch of my old Beanie Babies. I made the mistake of telling him that I had more and would give them to him someday as a suprise. He has spent most to today wandering around the house, looking in drawers and crying because he can't find the rest of them. His theory seems to be that I gave them to someone else. Cripes.

According to my countdown ticker I will be pregnant for approximatly ........ the rest of my life. I have pain from my temples down to my lower back and I am in a terrible mood. Only listening to my illegaly downloaded tunes makes me feel better. Thank goodness for Hey Ya and Cry Me A River and Little Red Corvette and Shiny Happy People.

The belly, it is expanding

I can't button my pants at all now. I have to use a rubber band to hook the button to the button hole. It's time to admit that I need new pants. Sigh.

I look in the mirror every time I go to the bathroom and try to figure out if I look pregnant yet. Mostly I just think I look fat. I'm betting I gained back all that weight I lost from the morning sickness. Ugh. I feel huge.

That's some quality first aid

Today the nurse from Joseph's school called to tell me that he had walked in fromt of another kid on the swings on the playground and gotten knocked down. She said she gave him an ice pack because he said his nose and mouth hurt but that he didn't have any marks and seemed to be ok.

When Joseph got home I asked him how school was. He said (in his cute, chirping voice) "I fell down on the playground and bumped my nose and Nurse Laura gave me a six-pack for my mouth."

Wow. Now that's some first aid we can all get behind. By the way, he's fine and you can't even see a mark on him. Behold the healing power of a six-pack!

Hide and go what?

Today Joseph was watching a show and they little characters on it were singing a song called "Hide and Go Boo!". I swear the first 12 times or so that they said it I thought they were saying "Hide and Go Poop!". I asked Joseph if that's what they were saying and he laughed so hard he fell of the couch. He clued me in but made me say "Hide and go poop" about 20 more times and now the dumb song is stuck in my head.

Oh yeah, go to my dad's site to do the new Disney poll thingy.

This even grosses me out!

Ok, the good news: My retina is not torn or detached. Even though my retinas are "very thin" my eyes are healthy.

The bad news: (WARNING! This is gross!) The back of my eye is coming detached from the jelly-like stuff behind it. The doctor says this happens to everyone at some point though usually not till much later in life. My eye is seperating from the jelly and the space it makes is filled in by a liquid that makes kind of a cloudy spot on my retina. The cloudy spot is what's causing the blurry spot in my vision in my right eye. The blurryness will go away after a while but for the next two months I am at an even higher risk for a tear in my retina. I have to watch for flashing lights or "floaties" or a darkness out of my right eye. I don't really have an issue with eyes but I have to admit that as the doctor was telling me about this I was getting a little sick. Something about eye-jelly doesn't sit will with me.

Between this eye thing and my strange lung collapse I'm starting to think I have some strange medical luck. I'll be the first person in recorded history to have spontaneously exploding knee caps or by diagnosed with Constant Hair On Fire Syndrome.

To sum up, the news is good but weird and gross.

Mom, this is gonna gross you out

I am totally freaking out. I have to go to the eye doctor after Joseph goes to school today because I think I might have a torn retina. My eyesight is all fuzzy out of my right eye and I keep seeing a bunch of "floaties". Yesterday for a minute I saw a bunch of flashing lights in that eye and I just wrote it off as "one of those things" but now I'm starting to get worried. I know I'm at a high risk because my eyesight is so bad and as one doctor told me, my retinas are "stetched to the limit". Ack!

I'll update later assuming I don't have to spend the next two weeks laying flat on my back not moving my eyes or whatever it is you have to do if one part of your eye becomes torn.

4 months

I am 4 months pregnant today! The baby is about 4 and 1/2 inches long and just under 3 ounces. Body and head hair have grown in and this week sweat glands will start to appear and work. The baby can now start to straighten it's neck and move it's head and it's arms and legs move all the time. The baby can also hear and respond to sound now. I told Joseph this and he spent a good portion of this morning yelling songs at my tummy.

We have no waffles

I don't know if it's the weather or a growth spurt or what but Joseph has been driving me a little bit crazy lately. He's cranky and clingy and asks me a million questions without bothering to listen to the answers. Here's a transcript of an actual conversation we had the other day:

Joseph: I'm hungry.
Me: Ok, let's go to the kitchen and find a snack.
J: I want waffles.
M: You ate your last waffle yesterday, we have to find something else to eat.
J: No, I mean I want a SpongeBob waffle.
M: I know honey but you ate the last one yesterday. You can have grapes or yogurt or applesauce or peanut butter toast.......
J: Ok, I'll just have a SpongeBob waffle.
M: We don't have any more waffles Joseph, you need to pick something else.
J: Ok, a Patrick waffle.
M: We don't have any of those either.
J: Ok, then how about a Squidward waffle?
M: Joseph, the waffle box is empty. All the waffles were gone. All the Spongebob waffles, all the Patrick waffles, all the Sandy waffles, all the Squidward waffles, all of them are gone. We have no waffles left. None. Pick something else for a snack or I will pick something for you.
J: ok, ok, how about just a Spongebob waffle?
M: Joseph! We have no waffles! None! (At this point I pulled the empty box out of the trash and shook it upside down.)
J: Wel, who ate all my wafles?
M: You did!
J: Ok, then I'll have one more today and none yesterday.
M: Mommy needs to go check the mail now. (Then I run around outside the house and scream and pull my hair out. Ok, minor exaggeration, but only on my response, the rest is real.)